Had a weird dream last night, not sure what it was about though. I do know that Mr. Higgins made a cameo, also I know that I was hanging out with Chevy Chase most of the time and we kept doing lines of coke.
Dramatization:
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Dream
So I had a very weird and long dream last night, weird.....and long. It all started when I went to visit my good friend Dave Regg, I wasn't visiting him just to visit him though the reason I went to see him was because he had knocked some girl up and now he had a child. I don't remember what the kid looked like but the mother of the child was some blond chick I'd never met before (way to go champ) I remember that as I was leaving I said that "I wanted the kid to call me Uncle Patrick". Then I walked home.
When I got home my car was missing so I took my dads mini van. Somewhere along the way I guess I picked up Will and Ed, we drove to Plainfeild and visited this very elaborate trash heap, think Brave Little Toaster, we kept driving through the dump until my dads car got stuck. Here is where things get really weird.
So me, Will and Ed are walking and these Dumpster people start chasing us, they kind of look like the Mayans from Apocalypto except less ethnic and more modern. So we split up, I keep running and all of the sudden I'm standing with one of the guys behind me and one of them in front of me, they're both about 100 feet away and they have some sort of blade that they're gonna kill me with. They run at me and at the very last second I jump and roll and the two guys hit each other in mid air and simultaneously kill each other. I keep running and these midgets are chasing me and they're really fast, there are three of them so I grab 2 of them and use them as a shield as the third one shoots at me. I keep running and meet up with Will and Ed, some cop helps us find my car and we get out of there.
I dropped Ed and Will off at Ed's house except it isn't really his house it's some house in Plainfield with a lot of black people partying, I drive off.
Next thing I know it's night time and I'm sitting around a pool with my feet in the water, there's a large fence behind me and to the left is some girl texting on her blackberry, to the right of me is Mr. Paterson (yes the teacher) and sitting around the pool are all of these people from my Astronomy class. We're blowing up balloons that glow in the dark and watching them float in the pool, I remember Mr. Paterson saying something about the Dumpster and how he didn't want the people to find him, this scared me and then I woke up.
When I got home my car was missing so I took my dads mini van. Somewhere along the way I guess I picked up Will and Ed, we drove to Plainfeild and visited this very elaborate trash heap, think Brave Little Toaster, we kept driving through the dump until my dads car got stuck. Here is where things get really weird.
So me, Will and Ed are walking and these Dumpster people start chasing us, they kind of look like the Mayans from Apocalypto except less ethnic and more modern. So we split up, I keep running and all of the sudden I'm standing with one of the guys behind me and one of them in front of me, they're both about 100 feet away and they have some sort of blade that they're gonna kill me with. They run at me and at the very last second I jump and roll and the two guys hit each other in mid air and simultaneously kill each other. I keep running and these midgets are chasing me and they're really fast, there are three of them so I grab 2 of them and use them as a shield as the third one shoots at me. I keep running and meet up with Will and Ed, some cop helps us find my car and we get out of there.
I dropped Ed and Will off at Ed's house except it isn't really his house it's some house in Plainfield with a lot of black people partying, I drive off.
Next thing I know it's night time and I'm sitting around a pool with my feet in the water, there's a large fence behind me and to the left is some girl texting on her blackberry, to the right of me is Mr. Paterson (yes the teacher) and sitting around the pool are all of these people from my Astronomy class. We're blowing up balloons that glow in the dark and watching them float in the pool, I remember Mr. Paterson saying something about the Dumpster and how he didn't want the people to find him, this scared me and then I woke up.
Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Finally got Blogger working
For the longest time I wasn't able to sign into google which means I couldn't get into Blogger but now I'm back and have a story to tell.
So I'm at work today contemplating suicide as I always do, it helps the time to go by. Anyway this big black man named Darryl walks up, he's probably about in his late 30's. He needs help ordering a DVD on the computer so after 7 minutes of looking we couldn't find it. He then asked me to look for a cd by a group called Blue Magic. Success! We find the cd and order it, as I'm ordering it he asks me if I have ever heard of Blue Magic to which I reply no. He looks surprised and asks me how I expect to ever get laid if I don't know Blue Magic, I laughed and told him I would check them out. After I order the cd he goes on to talk about how Patrick Ewing is an asshole and how he isn't one of the top 5 centers in NBA history. He tells me about an encounter he had with Ewing where he called him an ass. Then it is time for Darryl to leave, he shakes my hand and asks for my name. He is my friend, I hope he comes back and tells more stories.
So I'm at work today contemplating suicide as I always do, it helps the time to go by. Anyway this big black man named Darryl walks up, he's probably about in his late 30's. He needs help ordering a DVD on the computer so after 7 minutes of looking we couldn't find it. He then asked me to look for a cd by a group called Blue Magic. Success! We find the cd and order it, as I'm ordering it he asks me if I have ever heard of Blue Magic to which I reply no. He looks surprised and asks me how I expect to ever get laid if I don't know Blue Magic, I laughed and told him I would check them out. After I order the cd he goes on to talk about how Patrick Ewing is an asshole and how he isn't one of the top 5 centers in NBA history. He tells me about an encounter he had with Ewing where he called him an ass. Then it is time for Darryl to leave, he shakes my hand and asks for my name. He is my friend, I hope he comes back and tells more stories.
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Funny videos, made me lawl.
Requires sound, that was directed at you Austin who watches the clips I post while sitting in the library, and you Dave who doesn't have sound cause he watches too much porn lol.
ENJOY!
ENJOY!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Christian the Lion.
So today in class a girl was telling me about christian the lion, I don't want to say exactly what it is because I feel that it would take away from the video. All I'm gonna say is that it is beautiful and it's a tear jerker.
Sunday, April 26, 2009
Stupid drivers piss me the fuck off.
So I'm heading back to school tonight and as some of you may know I enjoy driving fast and staying exclusively in the left lane. The only problem with driving in the left lane is that not everyone knows that being in the left lane means that you are part of an Elite Club and there are rules that must be followed.
Rule # 1: The extreme minimum speed for driving in the left lane is 75, and even that is frowned upon as going slow. If you want to drive the same speed as the rest of the traffic on the parkway then get the fuck out of the left lane for people like me who drive like they're late for their wedding.
Rule # 2: If you are driving in the left lane and someone comes up behind you going much faster then you are, don't get bitter and brake check him like some self righteous cock sucker. Simply move to the right lane and let him pass you and then you are free to move back to the left lane assuming you are following rule # 1.
Rule # 3: If you are not from New Jersey then stay the fuck out of the left lane.
Rule # 4: No guiodos. Sorry you brought this on yourself.
Rule # 5: If you don't follow rules 1-4 I will fucking cut you.
So now that you know the rules I will explain what happened to me, it's not a big deal but it pissed me off to the point of cursing out loud to myself so that has to count for something. So I'm driving in the left lane obviously and I come up behind a car, they move over and let me pass them like a law abiding good Samaritan should. The I get behind another car who is going 65 MPH (see rule # 1) I get behind them, not necessarily tail gating theme but slowly getting closer to the back of them, they then proceed to brake check me. At first I thought they were just one of those nervous drivers who brakes for no reason. After about 20 seconds of them not moving or speeding up I moved over to the middle lane to pass them, a right that I hold as someone dealing with a violator of the Left Lane Rules. So I pass them in the middle and get in front of them, all of the sudden my car becomes bright, the mother fucker I passed was pissed because she was a pretentious cunt and so she felt the need to high beam me as well as the rest of the parkway because she just got passed while she was driving 65 in the left lane. I then proceeded to roll down my window and flip them off, as I kept accelerating I realized that I just dealt with an asshole, this is when I cursed out loud. I grabbed a water bottle to throw at the cunt I passed but my exit was coming up and she was too far away for me to slow down and wait for her.
So that's my story, bitches better recognize the rules.
Rule # 1: The extreme minimum speed for driving in the left lane is 75, and even that is frowned upon as going slow. If you want to drive the same speed as the rest of the traffic on the parkway then get the fuck out of the left lane for people like me who drive like they're late for their wedding.
Rule # 2: If you are driving in the left lane and someone comes up behind you going much faster then you are, don't get bitter and brake check him like some self righteous cock sucker. Simply move to the right lane and let him pass you and then you are free to move back to the left lane assuming you are following rule # 1.
Rule # 3: If you are not from New Jersey then stay the fuck out of the left lane.
Rule # 4: No guiodos. Sorry you brought this on yourself.
Rule # 5: If you don't follow rules 1-4 I will fucking cut you.
So now that you know the rules I will explain what happened to me, it's not a big deal but it pissed me off to the point of cursing out loud to myself so that has to count for something. So I'm driving in the left lane obviously and I come up behind a car, they move over and let me pass them like a law abiding good Samaritan should. The I get behind another car who is going 65 MPH (see rule # 1) I get behind them, not necessarily tail gating theme but slowly getting closer to the back of them, they then proceed to brake check me. At first I thought they were just one of those nervous drivers who brakes for no reason. After about 20 seconds of them not moving or speeding up I moved over to the middle lane to pass them, a right that I hold as someone dealing with a violator of the Left Lane Rules. So I pass them in the middle and get in front of them, all of the sudden my car becomes bright, the mother fucker I passed was pissed because she was a pretentious cunt and so she felt the need to high beam me as well as the rest of the parkway because she just got passed while she was driving 65 in the left lane. I then proceeded to roll down my window and flip them off, as I kept accelerating I realized that I just dealt with an asshole, this is when I cursed out loud. I grabbed a water bottle to throw at the cunt I passed but my exit was coming up and she was too far away for me to slow down and wait for her.
So that's my story, bitches better recognize the rules.
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